A short play
CHARACTERS
MAE: A woman in her mid-seventies. Edgar’s wife of many years.
EDGAR: A man in his late seventies. Mae’s husband of many years.
SET
Edgar and Mae’s kitchen. A simple set is preferred. A kitchenette set with a table and two chairs, a stove, a sink; perhaps a refrigerator.
(Mid-morning.
LIGHTS UP on EDGAR and MAE.
MAE stands at a kitchen sink washing and drying morning dishes. EDGAR sits at a kitchen table, reading a newspaper.)
EDGAR
Good breakfast, Mae.
(MAE turns to him.)
MAE
Thank you, Edgar.
(Slight pause.)
EDGAR
Damn good breakfast.
(Beat.)
MAE
The secret’s in the skillet.
EDGAR
How so?
MAE
That’s my secret, not yours.
EDGAR
That’s right, that’s right. Your secret, not mine.
(Pause. EDGAR returns to reading his newspaper. MAE picks up a skillet. She looks it over. She gently runs the skillet under the kitchen faucet, and gingerly dried it with a paper towel. She looks toward EDGAR.)
Mae
You don’t wash it.
Edgar
What?
Mae
The skillet. You don’t wash it. With soap. You don’t scrub it.
Edgar
Why not?
Mae
It ruins the seasoning.
EDGAR
The what?
MAE
The seasoning. (Beat.) The flavor.
EDGAR
What flavor?
MAE
Maintaining the seasoning improves the taste and flavor of the foods you cook in it.
EDGAR
Where’d’ya learn that?
MAE
(Slight pause.)
EDGAR
(Smiling at MAE.)
You and your cookbooks.
(MAE smiles back at him. Pause.)
Mae
What do you want for dinner?
EDGAR
Dinner?
MAE
EDGAR
I’m still digesting my breakfast, Mae.
MAE
I need to defrost something.
(Slight pause.)
EDGAR
What about lunch?
MAE
Liverwurst sandwich, Edgar.
EDGAR
Right, right. Of course.
MAE
And I have bologna.
EDGAR
Right, right.
MAE
(Tenderly.)
Edgar. We decided lunch years ago.
EDGAR
Right, right. Of course.
(Pause.)
MAE
What about dinner?
EDGAR
I’m thinking. (Slight pause.) What are my options?
MAE
(Exasperated.)
Chicken, chop meat, pork.
EDGAR
Is that all?
MAE
All what?
EDGAR
All my options.
MAE
(Confused.)
That’s what we got, Edgar.
(Pause.)
EDGAR
What if I wanted, say, I dunno … fish?
MAE
Fish?
EDGAR
(Beat.)
MAE
We never have fish.
EDGAR
But what if I wanted fish?
MAE
You hate fish.
EDGAR
Do I?
MAE
If memory serves me right, Edgar, you do hate fish.
(Beat.)
EDGAR
But what if I did want fish?
MAE
Why would you want fish?
EDGAR
Humor me, Mae.
(Pause.)
MAE
I suppose I would go to the market.
EDGAR
Today?
MAE
Yes, today.
EDGAR
Not Thursday?
MAE
(Smiling.)
No. Today.
(EDGAR smiles back at MAE. He returns to reading the newspaper. Pause.)
MAE (CONT’D)
Should I…?
EDGAR
(Looking up from his newspaper.)
What?
MAE
Go to the market….
(EDGAR looks at her inquisitively.)
MAE (CONT’D)
For fish.
EDGAR
I hate fish, Mae.
MAE
Of course you do.
(EDGAR returns to his newspaper. Pause.)
MAE (CONT’D)
Chicken, chop or pork?
EDGAR
(Looking up from his newspaper.)
What was in that breakfast?
MAE
Same thing as always.
EDGAR
Something was different.
MAE
Three sunny-sides, two American bacons, two links, slice of toast, orange juice.
EDGAR
What did you have?
MAE
My breakfast, Edgar. (Beat.) Scramble.
EDGAR
Right, right. (Slight pause.) Something was different.
MAE
(Emphatically.)
Nothing was different, Edgar. Chicken, chop or pork.
(Pause.)
EDGAR
What if we went out?
MAE
Out?
EDGAR
(Slight pause.)
MAE
Out where?
EDGAR
For dinner.
(Beat.)
MAE
Why would we do that?
EDGAR
Something different.
(MAE crosses to the table. She sits. Pause.)
MAE
Where would we go, Edgar?
EDGAR
(Putting down the newspaper; with emphasis.)
Anywhere we want to.
(Beat.)
MAE
I don’t know.
EDGAR
(Taking her hand.)
Come on, Mae.
MAE
Where?
(Pause. EDGAR thinks.)
EDGAR
(Smiling.)
Toscano’s.
(Beat.)
MAE
Toscano’s?
EDGAR
You remember Toscano’s.
MAE
Of course I remember Toscano’s.
EDGAR
I proposed to you at Toscano’s.
MAE
Of course you did.
EDGAR
And you accepted.
MAE
Of course I did.
EDGAR
Then, let’s go to Toscano’s.
MAE
Are you sure, Edgar?
EDGAR
Come on, Mae.
(Slight pause.)
MAE
Alright. Alright. Let’s go to Toscano’s.
(Pause, as they look at each other.)
EDGAR
Let’s get us a reservation.
MAE
Alright. Alright. (Beat.) When? What time?
(Pause. EDGAR thinks.)
EDGAR
We eat dinner at five.
MAE
Five, then.
(Slight pause.)
EDGAR
(An epiphany.)
No. Make it five-thirty.
MAE
Edgar!
EDGAR
(Confidently.)
Five-thirty, Mae.
(Beat.)
MAE
Alright, Edgar. Five-thirty.
(They look at each other.)
EDGAR
You gonna make the call?
MAE
Alright, I will.
(MAE stands and crosses to a kitchen wall phone.)
EDGAR
You got the number?
(MAE leafs through an old battered address book that had been hanging on a nail on the wall next to the telephone.)
MAE
In my book.
EDGAR
You got the number in your book?
MAE
Of course I do.
(Beat.)
EDGAR
All this time?
MAE
(Locating the phone number.)
Here it is.
EDGAR
(Lower voice; almost to himself.)
All this time.
(MAE dials the phone number.)
MAE
Hello. I would like to make a reservation for tonight for two people at five-thirty… What?… Is this Toscano’s?… Toscano’s…. Do you have the new number, then?… What?… When?… Oh, my…. Alright, then…. You have a nice….
(She places the receiver back on the hook.)
EDGAR
What?… Well…?
(Pause, as MAE crosses to the table and sits.)
MAE
That was…. That was….
EDGAR
(He takes her hand.)
Go on, Mae.
MAE
Toscano’s closed, Edgar. (Beat.) More than twenty years ago.
EDGAR
Who was that, then?
MAE
Some oriental lady.
EDGAR
I don’t think we’d like Chinese food.
MAE
No. (Beat.) It wasn’t a restaurant at all, Edgar. (Beat.) She was just an oriental lady. (Beat.) She’s had the number for years.
EDGAR
Oh. (Beat.) Well, then.
MAE
Well, then.
EDGAR
(Slight pause.)
MAE
Now what?
EDGAR
Well. (Beat.) We’ll have dinner here.
(Pause.)
MAE
Edgar?
EDGAR
What?
MAE
Why Toscano’s?
(Beat.)
EDGAR
No reason.
MAE
Why breakfast?
EDGAR
Mae?
MAE
Why fish?
EDGAR
No reason.
MAE
Edgar!
(Slight pause.)
EDGAR
I’ve been to my doctor. (Beat.) I’m sick, Mae.
MAE
What?
EDGAR
MAE
You’ve been sick before.
EDGAR
Not like this.
(Pause.)
MAE
Oh, Edgar.
EDGAR
Sorry, Mae.
(Slight pause.)
MAE
Bad?
(Beat.)
EDGAR
(Slight pause.)
MAE
When were you going to tell me?
EDGAR
Yesterday. Last night. This morning. Tonight at Toscano’s. (Beat.) Maybe never.
(Pause. EDGAR and MAE silently look at each other. EDGAR breaks their stare to look at a wall clock. He stands and crosses towards the kitchen door.)
MAE
Where are you going?
(EDGAR points at the wall clock.)
EDGAR
MAE
Now what, Edgar?
(Slight pause. EDGAR stops at the doorway and turns to MAE.)
EDGAR
I don’t know.
MAE
Edgar?
EDGAR
Yes?
MAE
(Smiling.)
Chicken. (Beat.) Chicken. We’ll have chicken for dinner, Edgar.
(Slight pause.)
EDGAR
(Smiling.)
That sounds real good, Mae.
(EDGAR exits. MAE sits silently for several beats. She stands and crosses to the sink. She picks up the skillet. She turns on the water faucet and grabs a bottle of dishwashing liquid. She pauses over the sink. Holding the skillet in one hand and the dishwashing liquid in the other she begins to weep as the LIGHTS SLOWLY FADE TO BLACK.)
THE END.
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